Living, Regardless
by teggers
Summary: Kai had found it difficult enough to leave them. He couldn't fathom how much harder it would be to have them back again. After five years of civilian life, he returns to the Bladebreakers but making amends isn't the only challenge he has to face.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Leant back on a wall, arms folded, eyes closed.

Yes, it must've been the old pose - unmistakable to anyone who'd ever known him - that had done it. And of course Kai had been so out of practice, so unused to acting, that the once-familiar emotionless mask simply wasn't summoned in time. He couldn't of hidden the spark of recognition that must have flared so obviously in his eyes. Rei would have known in that instant that it was him – his old team-mate who'd disappeared long ago without a word to anyone. It just atrocious luck really. To be found out now, like this, after being so careful and having gotten away with it for so long?

How many years had it been? Kai didn't even dare entertain the thought. An entire lifetime ago, but even that seemed not far enough away – it felt more like some complete other person's life. Not that that was a bad thing. Good ideas are murdered by better ones, they say, and this version of himself was less painful than the former incarnation.

He didn't agonise anymore: about his own inadequacy or being the best, about how others saw him, about food. His level of happiness (or perhaps it was self-worth? He couldn't honestly say he'd ever felt happy) no longer corresponded with the number of hours he'd trained. He slept in mornings. True, he'd also gained weight; a little belly (more than he'd ever imagined he'd acquire and yet still unnoticeable to everyone else). He engaged in infrequent, pleasant sex with girls of equally casual intentions. A college course that was interesting if not too challenging, and a generic group of friends to study with, get drunk with, hang out with... Often conversation would be based on anecdotes of parental tyranny they'd recently been liberated from, but the social circle was so wide and loosely associated that no-one much noticed Kai's lack of stories.

'A quiet guy, but nice enough'. It was only half-believable, Kai knew, but this was him now. His new mask, and the blandest personal blurb anyone could claim. Tyson certainly wouldn't swallow it. 'Not in a million years', Kai could hear him scoffing, 'not old ice-bastard-Hiwatari'. And if the poor unimaginative boy couldn't accept such a metamorphosis in a million years, how would he deal with the fact that it had only been five?

Kai closed his eyes and frowned. It had been so long that he'd avoided thinking about it. Five years since he'd quit and without so much as a backward glance forged this new identity. His bitbeast, Dranzer, lay somewhere in the bottom of a cardboard box of miscellanea, still waiting to be unpacked but instead just transferred from house to shoddy student house and unceremoniously jammed beneath a series of anonymous beds. Similarly, Kai hadn't spoken to any of _them_ since his sly retirement from the world of Beyblading. Once or twice he might've seen Tyson and the Chief around town, but always at a distance. A student among many, they'd failed to recognise him too: the young man with mousy brown hair.

Mousy.

It was not a description that you could've previously applied to the Bladebreakers' captain in any sort of capacity.

But thinking back to that moment earlier today, and Rei's furious, flashing, feline eyes. No doubt that he'd recognised Kai. His arm coiled tight like a snake to strike, but his perfect technique was marred by anger. More out of sheer surprise than anything, the punch floored Kai. Rei seemed just as shocked everyone else by his actions, and as bystanders down the street stopped to stare at the commotion, Kai could see the doubt visibly creeping into him. Kai wouldn't have been taken down by such a weak blow. He knew his old self would most assuredly have returned it. The new Kai had considered it too (after all, he still had the muscles even if they were now disguised beneath a colourful indie-kid shirt). Except... lying on the floor with reflexive tears to an already-darkening eye, Kai also knew he must have appeared pitiful. No longer was it merely hints of uncertainty in Rei's face: he was absolutely mortified. The talent for reading people had stayed with Kai, and he could almost hear his old friend's troubled thoughts. Acting the coward was the smart move; feed the insecurity and in doing so gain an escape. If it worked, the whole incident could prove nothing more than a close-call, one that he could privately smile at in hindsight.

But he wasn't smiling now. Even before it had been too late, long before the actual act, Kai had regretted leaving them like that. For the first time in months, the guilt returned. Years of the easy life had softened Kai. Back in the day he could ignore the twisting of his guts, the shame and remorse would remain stubbornly unacknowledged. He could tell himself that he didn't care about them, and he would be able to believe it too because after all; he was a mean guy and mean guys are selfish. But he hadn't been _that_ mean guy for years.

In the end it was some other students that rescued him from the unpleasant reunion – friends of those he was supposed to meet before Rei had shown up. One of the boys (hefty, belonged to the athletics club at college, Kai remembered) lifted him to his feet and then rounded on Rei.

"What are you doing?" He boomed.

Rei froze, and Kai inwardly cringed. Even after all the distance he had tried to put between them, even after the black eye he'd been given, he felt bad for Rei and wished he could do something to intervene.

"I am _so_ sorry. I thought you were someone else." He appealed directly to Kai with this.

"And that makes it ok to hit him?" The boy was rolling up his sleeves, but Kai put an arm on his shoulder.

"Please, just leave it." He didn't even need to try to adopt a pleading tone, it was automatically there. Although unintentional, that must have certainly killed off any of Rei's remaining suspicions.

The big boy addressed Kai by his assumed name "Are you sure, Takanori?", then to Rei; "You'd better get out of here."

"Sorry." Rei bowed again, but to his credit was not intimidated and walked off unhurriedly. The forgotten respect Kai had once felt towards his former teammate returned, and with it the guilt of deception. But it was necessary. It had been difficult enough to leave them. He couldn't fathom how much harder it would be to have them back again.

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><p><strong>End of Chapter 1. More on the way if people like it ^^<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was early evening, and far from fading like he had hoped it would, Kai's black eye had blossomed into an impressively deep shade of plum. To make the whole thing even more insufferable, it was his flatmate's friend's birthday - excuse enough for a house-party – and each new guest remarked upon his striking appearance. Kai detested being remarked upon.

"Taka, you _badass_! I didn't know you had it in you!" Slurred the latest inebriate through the door.

"Yeah, you should have seen the other guy..." He darkly muttered, for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

"But seriously Taka, Kenji told us about that douchebag that whaled on you earlier. That sucks, man. Have a drink on me."

Another sticky plastic shot glass of something violently green was pressed into his hand. He was getting a buzz from all the pity drinks so far, but it wasn't improving his mood any. The party continued around him, and with a plethora of drunk friends constantly checking he was ok, Kai felt the ever-present need to be alone spike up unbearably. The old Kai would have manned-up and dealt with (or dismissed) his problems; the new Kai reached out for oblivion and grabbed a new bottle. It was the last coherent thought he remembered having that night.

* * *

><p>It had been easy enough to get into the student housing complex. Rei was worried that he'd be recognised from the incident the previous day, but the concern appeared to be unfounded. The boy who answered the door to them early that Saturday morning had barely seemed to know who he himself was, let alone caring about anyone else. Barely were the words 'friends of Takanori's' out of Rei's mouth, and all of the bladebreakers were graciously invited in.<p>

"He's around here somewhere, man. Hey, can you guys look after him? I'm still fuckin' drunk, and I have to take off for work, like, now." Their confused host left them in the kitchen/living room, clattered back along the hall, and not so much slammed as crashed the door behind him. The room, filled with empty bottles, broken furniture, and other party detritus, was plunged into the kind of peaceful silence that pervades after a bomb has gone off.

Inexpertly rolled into the recovery position, wearing day-old clothes and smelling of other people's cigarettes, was the figure Rei was searching for. He wasn't immediately obvious – curled in a corner behind the couch, almost protecting the empty vodka bottle clasped to his chest. He was obviously an early casualty of the party - his face and most of his arms had been graphitised. The offending marker pen lay innocently nearby. Max almost slipped on it as they all craned in for a good eyeballing.

"It sure doesn't look like him..." Tyson stated the obvious, just so that everybody was clear.

Max picked up the pen from under his foot. "Hmmmm..." He popped off the cap and poked the tip experimentally with his index finger. "I wonder..." None of the others stopped Max as he drew two thick triangles on the horizontal boy's cheek.

"Ho-ly shit, it is!"

"Tyson, don't _swear_." Chastised Kenny.

Tyson rolled his eyes. "That's right Chief, you focus on the important thing here."

The unconscious boy, now not wholly unrecognisable as Kai, shifted in response to their low urgent whispers.

"Well, anyway, it can't be him. Look at his hair! And his clothes!" Hissed Kenny.

"Look at his triangles!"

"Triangles aren't conclusive!"

The unproductive back-and-forth between them continued, until Rei (the oldest and assumed leader since Kai had left) took charge.

"I think I know a definite way to find out." Rei leant over the body. "...Kai?"

The boy emitted a low mournful moan in response. Ray tried again. "You alright Kai?"

"Uuuuurrrghhhhh...IfeellikeI'mgonnadieeee..."

They all stared at him in shock, but he didn't say anything else.

"Oh my God, it is..." Max said. "Kai, it is you, isn't it?"

Kai stayed silent. Tyson shook him gently by the shoulder, progressively getting rougher at the lack of response.

"You don't think he actually died, do you?" Max looked imploringly from Rei to the Chief.

"Of course not!" said Kenny. He had the tone of a disapproving parent.

"Only in the sense of being dead to the world for a while." Said Ray, and flashed the blonde a sad smile. "He's just got a hangover."

* * *

><p>The floor was the only place that the world didn't spin. Someone was trying to sit him up, and he didn't like it. His world lurched horribly. Kai tried to push whoever it was away, but ended up grabbing their sleeves for support. He clung to the material lifeline and tried to open his eyes, but the cheerful morning light felt like it was stabbing his brain and gravity flipped directions again.<p>

"Oh man, he is _wasted_."

The voice registered on the periphery of his consciousness. It was familiar. Irritating. Kai squinted hard, exposing only a sliver of blood-coloured eye, and the faces of Tyson, Max and Kenny swam into view over the shoulder of the person in front of him. The arms holding him firmly upright belonged to Rei, and as they relaxed Kai slumped forward, his forehead coming to rest on Rei's chest heavily.

"How did you find me?" Muffled, serious, but not angry. He still had Rei's shirt bunched up in each hand.

Kenny piped up "Fortunately Rei overhead you being called Takanori and noticed you associating with students of the local University, and after that it was simply a matter of searching through the campus database... for... your pseudonym..." He trailed off as everyone but Kai turned to frown at him. "Um...sorry."

"What are you doing here, Kai?" Max implored.

"This is my house. I might..." He paused, knuckles whitened, and against his chest Rei felt him gulp. "...ask you the same thing." A single laboured breath.

"You are hungover."

"_Massively _hungover." Tyson interjected.

"Someone needs to look after you, at the very least to make sure you don't drown in your own vomit or swallow your tongue or something retarded."

"Leave me alone."

"No" said Rei, simply. He stood up and without anything to hold onto, Kai slumped back against the wall. "Look. It may have been a long time ago, and we may not be friends anymore, but what you did to us was pretty shitty. You owe us at the very least an explanation."

Hair fell across his eyes, and he was silent, but it was clear he hadn't passed out again.

"I know." Kai whispered, after a while.

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><p><strong>Hellooo again! This was ready sooner than expected so I thought I'd share with y'all - hope you like. Thanks for the lovely reviews, they really improved my week :) <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The Bladebreakers' Crisis Meeting HQ was a bright, clean (if relatively soulless) bedroom. A tactical position - the open door had a direct view of the house's only bathroom, in which the ex-leader was 'freshening up'. It was a mark of how paranoid they had become – that they wouldn't even let Kai out of earshot, even if that entailed being subjected to the sounds of barely-suppressed vomiting.

Max had installed himself on the bed, cuddling a pillow unconsciously. Even as a young adult, he couldn't help but be adorable. The blond watched Tyson riffle through drawers, pull books out of place, and generally nose around. Max sighed, uncomfortable.

"Guys, this is weird."

A cloud of dust went up as Tyson dropped to his stomach and crawled under the bed. It was apparently the only part of the room that wasn't spotless, and by quite a large margin if the sizable dust-bunnies currently being evicted were anything to go by.

"God, I know. The way he was just curled up there, it was so...pathetic." Tyson's feet replied.

"No I mean _this_. Us tricking our way into his house, and snooping and stuff." Whilst sitting, he managed to bounce heavily over the part of the mattress where Tyson was excavating beneath. "Stop that!" Tyson scrabbled manically and emerged with a face like a 19th child century chimney sweep – filthy and innocent in equal measures.

"Stop what?"

"It's not like that, Maxie. You make it sound like we're stalking him." said Rei.

"Yeah and besides, don't you want to know why he left us?"

Heat rushed to his cheeks and Max stammered. He was less confident than the others, especially Tyson, that Kai's act had been one of betrayal. Voicing such an opinion was something he avoided - it made his best friend so angry, and they frequently ended up arguing - but this whole situation felt wrong somehow.

"Yes, b-but...I don't know. He tried hard to make sure we didn't find him after he left, and he's stayed away for five years. I m-mean, he must have had a good reason. Shouldn't we respect his wishes?"

"Respect his wishes? You mean like he respected us by ditching us halfway through a tournament?" Tyson derided resentfully.

"Max, we've had this conversation before." Rei said, and Max blushed even more. "And I get your point. But whatever his reasons, he still should have told his friends what was wrong. Maybe we could have helped him." It was no doubt unintentional, but the way Rei continued made him seem to Max like a patient adult trying to explain to a particularly naive or stupid kid.

Kenny, who had been quiet the whole time, interrupted Rei in a solemn voice. "Unless we weren't his friends."

Rei was hurt by that. "His teammates then."

"Yeah, we lost our World Champions title because of him." Tyson said, too bitter to understand that that wasn't what was responsible for the melancholy in his feline friend's eyes.

The boys lapsed into a thoughtful silence, a consensus on how to deal with the problem in the other room unreached. Kai himself did eventually emerge from the bathroom, towelling his face dry, and was met by all four frowning faces looking up as one to stare. The black eye, which had been previously camouflaged under permanent marker, now seemed to gleam proudly on his pale skin.

"Woaah nice shiner!" Tyson exclaimed, everything else forgotten.

"Oh gosh, Kai, I really am very sorry." Said Rei, beholding his handiwork with remorse.

"Wait, you did that?" Gobsmacked, Tyson's head snapped back and forth between them. "Rei did that?" As Kai sauntered back to the kitchen, Tyson grabbed Rei by the arm, his eyes shimmering in excitement. "What did it feel like?"

* * *

><p>Over begrudgingly offered coffee, Kai glared at no-one in particular. He'd never looked more like the boy they remembered, and even the ash-brown hair seemed to fall into its familiar shape despite obvious efforts to the contrary. Nobody spoke. The atmosphere was one of fragility. It was if they were afraid that any sound would break the illusion of civility between them.<p>

"Spill the beans, Hiwatari." Tyson was sat exactly opposite from Kai with his arms folded. As ever, he was the first to start the conversation and, as ever, he did it with the tact of a bull crashing through a window.

"What do you want to know?"

"Uh, gee I dunno!" Tyson feigned thinking, a grand caricature of scratching his head and staring into the middle distance. "How 'bout why you bailed for starters?"

"I was bored of 'blading."

"Aw come on. You got bored in the final stages of the world championships?"

"Why not?"

"And you didn't feel like you had any sort of obligation to tell us, either beforehand or since?" Rei said.

"Nope."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care, Rei." Kai said irritably; true feeling finally being drawn from his offhand manner. "I don't need to prove anything to you. I got bored, and I quit. End of story."

"Even if that was true, you obviously knew you were doing something wrong. Why else would you hide from us?"

That hit a nerve. "I am _not _hiding."

"Changing your name – that's _not_ hiding? Dyeing your hair?"

Kai didn't answer.

"Were you trying to get away from someone else, Kai? Was it your grandfather, or Biovolt?" Max asked.

"No." He sighed, and rubbed his temples with one hand. In that single gesture, the team could see the extent of his transformation. Kai looked frail, hushed, fundamentally exhausted. The very anathema of their Captain. "Look, what do you really want? An apology? I'm sorry. Now can you please leave me alone?"

"We're not trying to be confrontational." Tyson scoffed at this, but Rei continued to plead. "We're still your friends. We just want to know why."

Kai finally held eye contact for perhaps the first time that morning. The level gaze unnerved Rei more than the evasiveness had before, because it established a blunt truthfulness to what Kai said next. "There was no reason." His tone was firm, killed all conversation; no more discussion. A taste of the old arrogance; the 'do-not-question-me' mentality making a brief and unwelcome reappearance. But this too, like the barrier of silence before, was swept away by Tyson. He'd waited too long for this to allow Kai to dominate his own interrogation, and conversely Kai was too out of practice at maintaining superiority. As such, Tyson's next request knocked him straight onto the back foot again.

"So how 'bout a bey-battle? Just for old times sake?" It was a subject you could tell he'd been itching to broach, perhaps even more than the 'why' questioning.

"Uhh. I don't know..." Kai said. His eyes flicked across the room; a return to being unable to settle on any one for his former teammates. A strange reaction; it seemed To Rei like a sense of panic had been evoked by the innocuous question.

"C'mon." Tyson goaded. "I bet you'll get right back into 'blading once you remember how it feels, you've just forgotten how fun it can be is all." He was trying to be encouraging, but it sounded like he was convincing himself more than anyone else.

Kai succumbed. He would have perhaps done so more easily, but the reluctance was fuelled by shame. He didn't want them to see the state he kept his old beyblade in – the state he'd abandoned it in. They all hovered in the doorway, unaware of his discomfort (or perhaps they were afraid to let him out of their sight again, he thought), as he slid the box out. It was a timeline of his evolution: digging through the redundant college notes, the old bills and tenancy agreements, further back to party fliers from the first year and various job payslips from before that...right at the bottom, he uncovered the person he used to be; a guilty bundle of his gauntlets and tank top, his battle paint. Nestled in the old clothing was Dranzer. He quickly retrieved his old 'blade and jammed it to a pocket.

Even though Kai was dragging his feet, prolonging the walk as much as he could, they soon found a 'blading dish in the park. Tyson was eager, grinning with excitement and running ahead, whereas the symptoms of Kai's hangover seemed to become more and more pronounced with every step. By the time he caught up to Tyson and the dish, he was practically green. Whilst Tyson, as his self-appointed opponent, waited as patiently as was possible for Tyson (which meant frozen in trash-talk pose, his leg jiggling incessantly like a toddler needing the toilet), Kai had to borrow Max's launcher and ripcord. He fumbled assembling them, and almost dropped his 'blade trying to attach it. Out of the corner of his eye, Kai noticed Rei's glance to the others. It was full of pity.

A bristle of the old annoyance at this, and Kai finally managed to slot the beyblade in.

"Let's get it over with!" He said grimly and without any ceremony practically threw Dranzer into the dish. Tyson nodded and followed suit.

Kai wouldn't let himself get involved in the battle. He barely looked at the action; he certainly failed to give any instruction. His 'blade circled around the metaphorical drain, disoriented. Kai was afraid. He didn't want to feel anything – no thrill of competition, no elation. To do so would be to admit he enjoyed this, and that would mean he had made a mistake in leaving it behind. Five years fully wasted – he could never get back to the top of his game now, let alone stand a chance against the new generation of champions that would have cropped up.

But then was it worse than the flip-side? That he didn't want to 'blade ever again? Because that would mean the whole of his early life had been a waste. The years training at the Abbey, the experimentation, the entirety of the person he had grown up as...none of it would count for anything.

He barely noticed when his 'blade was tossed from the dish. Instead of catching it, he watched it slam into the dirt at his feet, crouched down and pocketed it without a second thought.

"You didn't even try." Tyson bottom lip was fattening, and he looked close to a tantrum.

"I told you. It's boring." He lied.

None of them attempted to stop him leaving the park. Perhaps they finally realised how far Kai had grown from them. He hoped so.

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><p><strong>A longer chapter, but later. Is that a good thing? ^^; <strong>

**As an aside, I would be interested to know whether people think the quality is varying - I try to give each piece enough time so that I feel it's as good as I can get it, but I also get excited about writing the next part and updating too! I hope it's striking the right balance, but feedback is always appreciated.**

**Have a nice weekend, guys :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

It was already seven-thirty. He had two essays to finish writing. He had friends waiting for him in a bar after that. There were unpaid bills to be sorted. He hadn't cooked dinner yet, and furthermore, there weren't even the raw basics to cook dinner with because he hadn't gone shopping yet either.

All he had done, for hours and hours since getting home, was stare at Dranzer.

First he would sit at his desk and stare, as the bitbeast would lie motionless atop a pile of work.

Then, framed in the window, he would look out and nestle it in a closed fist.

When he was tired of standing and it started to get dark, he would lie on top of the bedsheets, one hand under his head and the other absent-mindedly tracing the contours of the beyblade.

Then he would sit abruptly. Tired of caressing the cold thing, he would place it back on the desk to scrutinise. And the slow dance around the room would begin anew.

It was the same thing as Kai had done last night, and the night before that. If you'd asked what he was thinking about, he would have said "nothing". If you'd asked what he was feeling, he would have replied the same. And it was this fundamental lack of feeling which was troubling him.

In the past, no matter what was wrong, he would have always felt his Phoenix filling the 'blade; almost a physical presence weighing down his hand. Now it felt just felt like a piece of plastic. Hours of his youth spent de-constructing and rebuilding it, but the unfamiliar edges which once fitted like lock and key in his palm now dug into the flesh uncomfortably. Red pressure marks had marred his hand for the past week, faded from each evening where he'd lock the bedroom door and wait for the warmth to return to Dranzer.

* * *

><p>Outside, the soft spring sunlight was fading. Businessmen heavily sweating in suits made their way home, and in parallel, the town's college population headed out for the night. All were unaware that above the human traffic, in an especially verdant tree bordering the university accommodation, two boys were out for a spot of espionage. Tyson was kitted out in every hi-tech gadget he could get away with 'borrowing' from Kenny, and a long-suffering Max had been dragged along despite his better judgement to at least try and act as damage control.<p>

"Okay, so I really _really _have a bad feeling about this." Said Max.

"You do? I feel so badass, man!" Tyson said, adjusting the night-vision goggles on his eyes.

"I don't think you even need those..."

"Sure I do, Maxie! Why, how else am I gonna see him slip away for a secret midnight rendezvous under a bridge with shady Russian mafia-types?"

"Don't even joke about that, Tyson." Max warned. "Kai could be in real trouble and you're just making fun of him instead of trying to help."

"Aww lighten up. The old bastard's more boring than ever; I doubt anything remotely exciting has happened to him in years."

Through the window, as if to validate Tyson's statement, they saw Kai stretch at his desk and settle back into an identical position.

"...Rendezvous?"

"Oh...yeah. That. Chief's been giving me a cookie every time I use an intelligent word. It's actually a bit patronising."

"But obviously working." Max remarked, impressed.

"And the cookie ain't bad either!"

Some time passed, and with their quarry housebound Tyson soon grew bored and began fiddling with various knobs on the goggles.

"Careful, that's not a toy! Chief'll kill you if you break it."

"Yeah, yeah."

Max shook his head, but was aware that he was only lecturing Tyson out of boredom himself. This was soon to change. Ironically, in the minute he'd turned away he realised the window they were focused on was now black.

"Wait, what's he doing?"

"What?"

"The light just went off!"

"Where?"

"Tyson, you're meant to be looking!"

Tyson, encumbered by his gadgetry rather than aided by it, swung his head blindly and missed Kai stride out of the building not twenty feet away. Confident, like a man on a mission, but an anonymous black hoodie and keffiyeh scarf hiding his mouth lent him an appearance of tantalising secrecy. There was no way that Tyson would be able to resist following and even Max found himself intrigued.

"Get down, get down! Don't lose him!"

"How?"

Like some sort of anti-ninja, Tyson snapped the branch he was holding onto and plummeted to earth after it. Max managed to slide down the trunk, scraping half the tree's bark onto the pavement and the remaining half down his yellow T-shirt. By some miracle, Kai had missed their ungraceful descent and continued to march with purpose down the street.

* * *

><p>If he didn't do it now, he'd never work up the resolve again. Back at the house, he'd grabbed his hood and scarf and been out of the door before he'd been fully aware of what he was doing. Not having an exact plan had stopped him from rejecting it outright. But now out on the street, realising where his feet were leading him... even though it was inevitable he'd end up there, that didn't stop the questions in his head. Absent for so long, the old neurotic commentary burst back as if it had never been gone. He faltered as his mind caught up with his legs.<p>

What was he even doing? Going 'blading alone at night like some sort of sociopath? He'd quit for a reason. Quitting had saved him. This was at best a waste of time, and at worst...

But though it was irrational, stupid, pointless, Kai knew it was necessary. Over days a throwaway thought had grown into an idea had grown into a need, and this need was what impelled him tonight.

All too quickly, he had arrived at his destination. Back at the 'blading dish in the park, where the others had dragged him a week ago. Only one week? It had been the first he'd seen of this place, but the stupid playground had stayed with him since then. Almost calling him back. Daydreaming during the week, at home or at school, he would catch himself staring in the direction of this park.

It was a nice neighbourhood - the kids had gone home and there weren't drug addicts or hooligans hanging round like in other parts of the city. The whole place was deserted. If he was going to do it, he should do it now.

Kai lauched his beyblade. Not enough force sent it skittering into the bottom of the dish.

Fuck it, said a part of him. Give up. You can't even get the damn thing going.

Still, he scooped up the 'blade and tried again. First one was a practice, he told the voice, or he was just nervous. Didn't mean a thing. A swift and fluid strike at the second attempt, and this time it span at least.

Go left, he thought at the beyblade. Nothing happened. Profanities bubbled in his brain, directed mostly at himself, but an intensifying frown was the only sign of negativity on the surface.

Left. Left left left. His tense body leant, synchronous with his wishes but not the beyblade. It remained in the base of the dish, impervious to the curses running through his head. But then, finally, the 'blade tilted on its axis. Began climbing the gentle curve of the dish. Sweat poured off him despite the fresh evening air.

Ok, now Dranzer, he called. The beyblade continued to circle the rim as he'd asked, but there was no sign of the creature within. Come on, he urged her again, to no response. He waited; gave it the time his previous command had taken to be processed. He calmed himself down, worked himself back up. Neither seemed to help. The beyblade had spun down several times and required re-launching in what felt like the hours Kai had been trying.

Come on. Please Dranzer, come on.

Begging a children's toy - is this what you're reduced to?

"Come on! I need this!"

He didn't care that he'd shouted. He meant it. It was dumb and sad, and no-one else would ever see anyway, but he _needed _to know he could still do this.

And remarkably, it worked. Golden light filled the hollow in the ground and his phoenix emerged, more beautiful then he had ever remembered. Her broad wings cloaked the dish, her eyes beheld him calmly. So entranced was Kai that he simply stared, arms slacked at his sides. The blue beyblade had stopped spinning minutes ago, but Dranzer remained. Not a battle pose; the regal creature appeared to be safeguarding the 'blade, preventing Kai from getting it. When he finally remembered to breathe, it was a breath so choked with relief and gratitude that it almost sounded like a laugh. Her great eyelids blinked in acknowledgement, and she was gone. His beyblade was stone cold when Kai eventually managed to retrieve it.

* * *

><p>Skin prickling from thorns and random foliage adorning his hair, Tyson flicked back through the pictures he'd taken on Kenny's digital camera. The final one: a young man, his serious face broken by an elated grin, as he stared at the mythical bit-beast before him.<p>

He swore quietly. "He thinks it's boring, my _ass_."

* * *

><p><strong>Hey y'all! Gasp, what will happen? I'm not too sure either, since I haven't got the next chapter written out like I usually do ^^;; Updating a little early since I am off to see internets-deprived family for a while, but will hopefully have a new chappie ready upon my return. I've been home alone all this week, so reviews were very welcome, cheers guys. Enjoy the sunshine :)<br>**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Another beautiful, unbearable day. Outside the college, on its richly maintained lawn, Rei waited in the shade of blossoming tree. He had nothing new to say. No more arguments or original pleas for his captain. He was armed only with a fresh insight and a sense of curiosity.

Students billowed from the doors into the sunlight, squinting after a long afternoon cooped up in lectures. Groups lingered outside, waiting for others, happy to be free for the rest of the day and horsing about on the grass like highschool kids, but Rei saw Kai and his housemates starting already on the leisurely walk home. Kai had seen Rei too, and gave a simple nod without hostility.

Encouraged, Rei raised his beyblade in a salute that Kai could see across the campus. It was an invitation. He watched as after a moment Kai turned back to his friends. An arm behind his head, an embarrassed smile, an apologetic gesture as he left them. Rei still couldn't understand this person, but he resolved to put it aside for now. One thing at a time.

Without hurry, Kai drew alongside him and they wordlessly fell into step. He didn't need to ask where they were going. He surprised Rei with the unquestioning ease of it all – Rei had come wanting one last battle, but he wasn't going to push Kai too hard for it. If he truly didn't want to 'blade, the Neko-jin would respect that. From what Tyson and Max said a couple of nights back, he suspected that Kai might be more cooperative with such a request than would readily admit but even this was pleasantly uncomplicated than planned. It was nice to be right about a feeling once in a while.

* * *

><p>They had come to the dojo at about midnight, flushed red from running or excitement or both. Tyson's face was scratched and bleeding (though not badly) and leaves stuck at jaunty angles in his clothes. Max looked rather better, though a dirty brown mark tracked down his t-shirt and could be seen as an angry weal on the skin underneath. Both were grinning despite their war wounds and Kenny's furious reprimands, the latter of which had alerted Rei to their return.<p>

"How you two can justify skipping the weekly training and team-building session, to run around causing mischief at God-knows what hour! A-and, is that _my camera_?"

It was indeed, clasped in Tyson's grubby little hands like it was the elixir of life itself.

Rei remained on the stairs. He had been annoyed at Tyson and Max's bunk but was also not prepared to join Chief in lecturing. Still it was to him, not Kenny, that Tyson offered the camera with an expression of glee.

"Look what we saw."

Rei indulged the craziness for the time being. An evening with the fretful Kenny had him almost missing the pair's antics.

"It's Kai 'blading."

"Au contraire," Tyson whispered conspiratorially. Hopeful eyes swivelled over to Chief, but when no reward was forthcoming, he continued "It's Kai, _having fun_ 'blading."

"So what?" Snapped Kenny.

"So he lied." Tyson said, in the manner of a showman revealing a great discovery to his audience.

"Of course he lied! He always lies!" The Chief veritably exploded in Tyson's face.

The normally quiet and geeky boy was rarely so angry, and Rei understood that this fury was not just to do with half the team shirking their responsibilities, or Tyson's loose interpretation of the concept of borrowing. Kai's defection had hit them all differently. Rei could see that Kenny, who had always remained distant to Kai (perhaps due to the unfortunate abduction episode), was upset and frustrated by his few friends being repeatedly hurt. Instead of learning from the rejection and moving on, they came crawling back to this subject of Kai, to second guess his motives and inflict more emotional anguish on themselves.

Rei knew that that was why poor Kenny was so distressed, but he also knew why Tyson couldn't let go of his favourite competitor, or why Max was so desperate to believe their captain was forced into hiding. Or why he himself sought a reason to forgive Kai. He thought that as a team, they had recovered from the initial rocky patch caused by Kai's departure, but now more than ever the issue seemed to be driving the Bladebreakers apart. That night, witnessing the fissures grow afresh between the group, Rei felt this duty was clear. As unofficial leader he decided that it was up to him to protect the team from all this ambiguity. He would go alone, secretly, and somehow bring them all closure if it killed him.

* * *

><p>Yet in spite of tossing and turning all night, or arriving forty minutes before Kai's class ended, or the lengthy walk across town…in spite of all this time Rei had been thinking about the 'Kai Problem', he still was unsure of what to do next. With the park too far away to be bridged by the obscene silence between them, it was natural to fall on the crutch of mundane talk.<p>

"Er…How was school?"

"Hn. Boring. Easy."

"You know, I never figured you for the type. You always pushed us so hard."

"I mainly pushed Tyson. He needed to be pushed."

Their footsteps measured out long gaps in the uneasy conversation.

"How is Tyson?"

"Alright. Just alright. He needs to be pushed." Rei flashed a fanged smirk, mirroring the upturned corners of Kai's mouth.

Don't say it, don't ruin it now that you've actually got him to smile!

"So does that mean that you don't need to be pushed anymore? Easy, boring classes are enough?"

Too late, Rei. Any barest hint of a smile died in Kai's eyes.

"They are exactly what I want right now."

The two young men finished the rest of the journey without speaking. The racket and energy of the park was a reprieve, albeit a short-lived one.

Not unreasonably on a sunny spring afternoon, the playground was packed with rookie 'bladers occupying every dish. Seeing this, and lamenting such poor planning of timing on his part, Rei cast a hopeless look about. He didn't know why he'd wanted to battle Kai – perhaps just to catch a glimpse of the pleasure in Tyson's photo? Some common ground he could build on, or at least something that would tell him his next move. But even this naive plan appeared to be unrealisable.

"Oh my God, is that Beyblading World Champion Rei Kon?"

"Rei Kon, it is!"

"What's he doing here?"

"Where are the rest of the Bladebreakers?"

The din faded; only noises remaining were loud whispers and the sound of beyblades spinning neglected. Battles forgotten, nearly every 'blader stared dumbstruck at the celebrity in their midst. Rei grinned. He was not completely used to fame, even after so long, but his good nature shone through, unconscious and dependable. Autographs were signed and camera-phones endured, and in the background Kai slouched into the shirt collar and flattened his unremarkable hair.

"When someone is finished, may my friend and I use the dish afterwards?" Rei finally managed to ask; the definition of politeness itself. Immediately every kid waved them over. It didn't matter where they picked; all other activity ceased as everyone circled the chosen spot, eager to see a world champion in action.

A ripple went through the crowd as Kai stepped up.

"Who is _that_ guy?"

It didn't matter. Maybe Rei would battle one of them next.

Rei hadn't even considered the possibility of Kai not having his beyblade with him; it was so second nature to carry Driger. He noted happily that this late-considered guess was correct.

They readied, and a second later launched. Blue and grey collided head on and held fast. Trembling, the half centimetre lost and regained by the locked 'blades was the only sign of the tremendous and even force behind them. Rei stole glances at Kai. Perspiring more than perhaps the warm weather required, he still looked a hell of a lot better than the time he'd battled Tyson hungover. The effort flushed his face with a glow.

In the back of his mind there was a little perplexion as to why Kai was not summoning Dranzer. Perhaps fear of fan recognition? Whatever the cause, Driger's owner, too, restrained the white tiger out of common courtesy.

They crashed threw sparks, swung around and crashed again, and Rei found himself having more fun than he could remember 'blading. For so long they'd all relied on their bitbeasts to win with sheer strength – sure, it was hard-earned strength, but battling without it for once was a novel challenge.

Eventually in the climax of the struggle, a beyblade was flung clear. To Kai's side of the dish. Disappointed but ultimately unsurprised, he picked it up, whilst Rei recovered the one remaining. It took a minute or two, but the revelation dawned to them simultaneously.

Through the bars of Kai's fingers the white tiger was visible. In the dish, a blue beyblade continued it's slow, wobbling revolutions under Rei's outstretched hand. Gasps chorused from the gathered crowd.

"Well, I don't think any of us expected that." Rei joked to the stunned faces mimicking his own. For the third time that day, his assumption was not wrong. If lucky, he thought, maybe this instinct of an idea in the battle's wake would give him a fourth.

* * *

><p><strong>Aaah, I hate to leave it like that! Stuff happened, but sort of nothing happened at the same time! :( But it seemed like a good break for the chapter, so I hope you'll accept my apologies ^^;; Rei is the man with the plan (even if it took him a thousand and a half words to get there!).<strong>

**I'm sure I was going to waffle on some more, but I've sort of forgotten about what, and you guys have waited long enough so I need to get on and publish. Go go go.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

No questions asked.

The second thing Rei had said to Kai after their match, after hijacking Kai's simple handshake into an infinitely more intimate bro-hug. The first statement was the more important of the two, probably, but _this_ was the part that really captured Kai's imagination.

Think about coming back. No questions asked.

That was what Rei whispered. It was memorable, but not because he was tempted by the offer. No, he'd chewed over the words in his mind because it was familiar mental territory. These thoughts had been thunk before. Back in the day, Kai had decided that if he was going to tell anyone _why_, it was going to be Rei. He'd stewed over whether to tell them his big secret - his big glitch - and now with those three little words the debate haunted him again.

In the months that felt like years leading up to leaving, Kai remembered constructing his careful explanation. But for all the time he'd been writing in his head, in the end he never did commit the words to paper.

_Rei, _it would have gone. Not _Dear team-mates_ or _To the Bladebreakers_, just _Rei_. Like Kai, the Chinese boy was a year older, which at their age translated to an ocean of maturity between themselves and the other boys and moreover; he was the only one who had so much as tasted the same hardships as the Russian. So, just _Rei_.

_Obviously, you've realised I've left. _There didn't seem a more diplomatic way of putting that, though Kai had tried.

_Though it might seem out of the blue, you should know I've been deliberating over this decision for a very long time and I have not taken it lightly. I appreciate that for the team, it's probably the worst time I could do this, but I can't be here anymore._

So much had he thought about the letter he would leave; edited and amended it, that these sentences came back to him now of their own volition. The next bit had been the most difficult to say, and he wasn't even saying it out loud. But if he had actually gone through with it, telling Rei the reason would not have been an act of friendship. Rei was right when he said he owed them that, and Kai didn't like to be indebted to anyone for anything.

_As long as I have been alive, I have trained. Every waking thought relates to beyblading. It's what I was designed for, long before I was even born. And so when I am not the best, my life has absolutely no purpose. I am sure that this sounds very conceited, but it is the truth. It is killing me; I cannot be a pointless thing._

How hard had he tried to express that? Better not to live at all than to be worthless at your only reason to exist. Kai had wondered about including that in the imaginary note. Suicidal tendencies would inevitability cause them to look all the harder for him. How else could he say it though, without sounding alarming? The stress of trying to be number one was murder, but trying to be happy with anything less was so profoundly depressing as to be unbearable.

_I'm sorry about the timing, but I can't see out the World Championships with you. I can't endure the possibility of finishing on a loss, and I don't think I can win anymore. I'm going away, to try and be normal, and hopefully catch up on what life I've missed out on so far.  
><em>

In reality, there was no way he was going to leave that in a letter. He was kidding himself when he thought about doing so. Wearing the mask for so long; it had practically become his face, and the walls a thick second skin. This was too personal to be divulged.

_Tell the others whatever you like._

On countless occasions, whenever he composed the letter, whether it be taking out a sentence or changing the wording, he made sure never to omit that line. It meant 'don't tell them how weak I am; tell them I double-crossed you again'. He was sure the sensitive Rei would detect his subtle plea in an apparently blasé sentence.

Finally though, the one thing he regretted perhaps more than not leaving a letter was not leaving a specific part of the letter.

_You guys are good. You aren't broken inside like me. Together, you are more than capable of taking this tournament. Make me proud, be the unmatchable 'bladers I know you are, and prove me right about leaving._

_Regards,_

_K_

No questions asked. A promise like that no doubt meant they had already imagined terrible, unspeakable horrors-of-reasons for themselves. Kai's heart ached and his throat burned with swallowed tears when he thought about what a coward he was. The real root to the Kai Problem, the spineless and selfish cause…what an anticlimax it'd be for them. He was well aware of what it sounded like.

What it sounded like: If he couldn't do it well, he didn't want to do it at all.

But what it felt like? It felt like he'd been running a marathon for as long as he could remember, where every new challenge cut into his bare feet like glass, and when he did eventually stumble and crash to the ground he wasn't sure he'd would ever be able to get up again.

If I ever spew such melodramatic drivel out loud though, Kai told himself, my next meal will be a bullet. No questions asked was not such a bad proposition, really. No self-pity. A new start after his new start.

Recollecting how low he'd been, he knew that even though he still had the blues these days they were bliss compared to the nadir of despondency once felt. Thinking about beyblading... Unconsciously, he ran his thumb across the ever-cold Dranzer. Did he still feel like that about it? Five years of the easy life was a pretty generous rest-stop, but had it reinvigorated him from the 16 years before that? Was he strong enough to try 'blading again?

Kai couldn't honestly tell, but there was certainly a way to find out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Today, he got up with the sun. Gone jogging first thing; pounding pavement before anyone else in the world was awake. His college emblem t-shirt got him in the athletic mood. Maybe it was the last time he would wear it so proudly, if things worked out. Kai made a pact with himself – the only person he trusted would hold him to it – that he was going to give it his best shot, his fullest attention. Nothing by halves. The match with Rei, fluke though it might have been... it had given Kai hope, and perhaps that was what he'd been missing all along.

Through the mist Kai jogged the routes he knew. Dew-smell flooded his lungs. He drank from the air with each hungry breath. So long since he'd done this...

His list of familiar places was fast running out. Where was there to go once he'd reached the empty campus, the park, the only bar he liked? It was funny how you could live somewhere for years and barely know it at all. He could probably still get lost after just a few wrong turns. The radical personality change wasn't so radical, maybe. Still ended up keeping himself to himself.

Proving himself right (when had he ever been wrong?), Kai ventured off the beaten track and thus spent an hour in the navigational nightmare that was deepest, darkest suburbia. By the time he found his way back to civilisation the quiet birdsong had been replaced with traffic noise and the clatter of storefront shutters. Kai shivered despite the rapidly thawing dawn. It was going to be one of the warmest summer days yet, but he wasn't running anymore and his sweaty clothes clung to his back and chilled him.

He walked the long way home so he could drop by the corner shop. A little breathless still, and massaging a stitch in his side, he wandered down the sole aisle followed by the sleepy gaze of the clerk. Today he had time to devote to his new project. For starters; a healthy breakfast in lieu of the usual rushed slurp of coffee before lectures.

By mid-morning, Kai had completely restocked the kitchen. Bricks of brightly wrapped ramen no longer fortified the shelves – it was all about the juice, the wholemeal bread, the vegetables. Culinary culling on such a scale was certainly impressive, but it was only ten o'clock and he was already flagging. The kind of smugness that almost defined wholesome living was taking a distinct downturn, and turning, Kai suspected, into the ache of overambitious exertion and caffeine withdrawal. A headache was brewing. The ammonia fumes probably hadn't helped.

Long after he'd finished showering, he remained cloistered in the ill-ventilated bathroom scrubbing forehead, shoulders, arms, and trying not to breathe the with his nose too much. Every time his tired eyes looked in the mirror, a new blue blemish seemed to have crept down from his hairline – a drop here, a smear there. The dye stained his skin like ink, lightening up but not coming off with the repeated efforts of an expertly-wielded loofah. Enough for one morning, he sighed. Not as perfect as it used to be, but enough. You could probably draw blood and still not get the damned spots out.

He just about managed to tie his freshly coloured hair with an elastic band (though it was at that irritating stage of growth where most of the strands escaped anyway and hung in his eyes - getting too long; needs a cut, he reminded himself). From the bathroom door he could survey the almost empty house. Term had ended with a bang, but now the exams were over and his flatmates had gone home for the long summer ahead. Last night was the final big party of the year, but by the time Kai was finished with his cleaning blitz that morning, you would never believe students lived there.

Haha, blitz. How the mighty have fallen, he thought with a mordant smirk. It would've been a good joke, if there had been someone around to tell it to.

Come on now, stop procrastinating. There was nothing left to do but go over there. He picked up his backpack, gave his head a final ineffectual rub, locked the door behind him and headed out into the world.

* * *

><p>Fine atmosphere to return to. Rei wanted to shake them by the shoulders until they all snapped out of it. Tyson was engaged in an afternoon-long sulk. Kenny had gone home without a word and his phone and online aliases had all been dead since. Max simply looked miserable. Whenever the blonde caught Rei's eye he hurriedly changed expressions, but the frown absent-mindedly returned a few minutes later. You'd think someone had died, the way he was staring off into the middle distance like that. The neko-jin's legendary patience was running out. Surely if the choice was Kai or no Kai, having him was better than not?<p>

A clock somewhere ticked loudly, unaware of how clichéd it was being. Max sighed, stopped short when Rei glanced over, forced a smile, then sighed again finally giving up on the whole thing.

"Listen, Max-"

Tyson very inopportunely chose that moment to stamp into the room. Glaring at the wooden floor, probably imagining every inch of it was Rei's face. He took a deep breath.

"Look man, I know what you tried to do. But now we have to accept him and all his mysterious bullshit back, and that's not at all cool."

It was either a tirade or an apology. They were very hard to tell apart with Tyson.

"I don't get it." Rei addressed them both. "Didn't you guys want him back too? Even if it means living with a few questions... Would you really rather not have him at all?"

Max opened his mouth to protest – it wasn't like that, of course not – but Tyson pre-empted him.

"You know what, Rei? I actually would. And you wanna know why?"

Uh-oh. Tirade, tirade, definitely tirade. Max couldn't decide which side to back in the argument, so settled for staring in mortification at them both.

"I'll tell you: It took years, and it took effort, and it took him betraying us more than once, but we fucking got there, man. We _knew _the real him, or close enough to it anyways. So when you tell us we're starting again slap-bang on square one with this stranger and his bag of super-secrets...it's..." The dragon ran out of anger, and gestured hopelessly at the other two. "It pisses me off, is all." He finished limply.

The doorbell chimed in yet another interruption, cutting off Rei's loss for words.

"...That's not a Bladebreaker ring." Max said quietly.

The Granger's doorbell had a little quirk: if you held the button down, the bell would 'ding' but it wouldn't 'dong' 'til you took your finger off. That was the Bladebreaker ring – something they'd discovered on a lazy weekend when they didn't feel like training; an in-joke where you'd leave it as long as possible between 'ding' question and 'dong' punch line. It wasn't especially funny, but even standing outside on rainy days, the boys found themselves automatically pressing the button a little longer than necessary.

Kai did not know the Bladebreaker ring.

No-one made to go and answer. The three boys simply stared at each other, Mexican standoff style. A second ring, meeker (if it was possible for a doorbell to sound meek), followed.

"Answer it?" Tyson said, in a voice that he usually used to say 'Um, duh?'

"It's your house." Max pointed out.

"I'll get it." Rei rolled his eyes. "But can you guys at least pretend to be a little happy that he's back?"

Both Tyson and Max mumbled in unison, which could have meant anything but which Rei chose to interpret as two long-suffering affirmations.

He opened the door, and there was Kai. Rei didn't know what else he'd been expecting but it still seemed a bit of a shock to see him. He stood slightly away, half turned back to the street. Looked up sharply as the door was answered. Hair falling into his eyes. Blue again.

A rucksack over one shoulder – was he staying over? Rei dared to hope. To have all the team together under one roof again; made him nostalgic like a punch to the gut, but in a good way.

"So Rei..."

"Yes?"

"Can I come in?"

The Chinese boy realised that he was standing in the door, and that he hadn't even greeted his old friend yet. He fumbled to get out of the way, and could practically imagine the sweat drop that must be hanging off his head.

"Oh, of course! Sorry, yes. It's so good to see you."

"It's not that great." Tyson drawled from somewhere inside the house.

Rei pulled a face, conveying to him in the space of a second exactly how Rei's offer had been received by the others. Kai didn't allow himself to be put out.

"Play nice, Tyson." Rei said as they walked into the adjacent room. He was standing - no, squaring up - ready to deliver more ranting.

"We might not be mentioning your half-decade holiday, but you better not go thinking that you're gonna be captain again."

A smile tugged at Kai's lips. Grudging respect.

"You're absolutely right, Tyson."

"Hey, I don't care what- wait, what?"

"I said you're right. It wouldn't be fair."

"No bossing us around?"

"No. I haven't got the right. At least, I haven't got the right until I'm better than you."

A light bulb flicked on in Tyson's head. The boy could be remarkably quick-witted when it suited him, Rei thought.

"That means we've got the right to boss _you_ around, though."

"I guess." Kai carried on, his expression completely serious. "Give being the captain a go, it might be good for you." A nod towards Rei. Kai's assumption was right on the money about who had filled his shoes. "If that's okay with Rei, I mean."

Tyson's puppy dog face aimed itself with full force at the Neko-jin.

"Uhhh...not that I think you're not up to it Tyson, but I'm not sure that's such a great idea. A lot of organisation and timetabling and boring stuff is involved. It's not as fun as you might think."

"Maybe that's even more reason why he _should _try it." Kenny said, standing in the left-open doorway. No-one had noticed him come in.

"Yesssssssss!"

Rei tried to stay optimistic, watching the insane glint grow in Tyson's eyes. This was role-reversal he'd obviously dreamed about but never believed would happen. The whole thing was like some improbable yet highly amusing sitcom, But at least he wasn't sulking anymore...

* * *

><p><strong>So Kai is finally back, but is giving Tyson that much responsibility really a such good idea? ^^; The fact that I have to ask means that the answer is probably 'no', haha! Anyways, as always hope you enjoyed the new chappie. Read, review, send me cake - it's all kosher :)<br>**


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Hey guysss. Next chapter. Woo! Don't forget to review if you like/don't like/are hungry!_

**Chapter Eight**

There was banging. Why was there banging? And a voice. Where was he? There was banging and shouting and a room he did not recognise, and on top of that it was dark.

"Wuzza wugh?" Said Kai's brain, trying to fit everything together and failing.

"Wake up, wake up! Training time!"

It was Tyson. He was _gleeful_.

"Sonofabitch." Said Kai's brain, remembering the previous evening. Tyson as acting leader. Celebrating the team's reunification with alcohol and awkward silences. Being persuaded to stay over the night, since it was so late.

"I'm co-o-o-o-ming in!" Sheesh, he was practically _singing_ now. He burst through the door as Kai was extracting himself from the fold-out bed in yesterday's crumpled clothes. He tried to glare at the fuzzy, bouncy ball of energy in front of him, but his tired eyes were only able to squint in the sudden light. All in all, he was thoroughly dishevelled.

"Daaaw, Kai! You're so _cute_ when you're still asleep!"

Ignore, ignore. Can't murder him on the second day.

"What time is it?" He said hoarsely, trying to direct overhanging hair away from his face. It didn't work. He felt like Sadako from The Ring. Only blue and far more annoyed.

"Training time! Off you go, Kai, twenty laps 'round the block, and then we'll see about some crunches."

The groan this statement elicited was luckily absorbed by a yawn. Tyson would not get that satisfaction. Instead he nodded and lurched off outside. Tyson followed, watching him from the dojo entrance and flashing a mocking thumbs-up every time he passed. It didn't seem like any of the others were awake yet. This was obviously special treatment intended just for Kai.

By the twelfth thumbs-up he was in serious pain. His legs were heavy from the last ambitious jog undertaken, and a night on the ancient Granger family futon (springs shot to hell from Tyson and Max jumping on it, undoubtedly) had killed his back.

God, did he really used to do this every day? Haha, poor Tyson. Kai remembered how angry the other boy used to be during their morning sessions. He could sort of sympathise now that the roles were reversed.

Double take – him, sympathise with Tyson? The notion made him recoil. He didn't want to be like that. Loud and undisciplined and way, way too upbeat about every damn thing.

Funny; it was probably a blessing in disguise. Tyson's obvious revenge tactic might have irked him at first, but it was almost certainly a good thing that he was being such a slave driver. An insurance policy, if you like, on Kai's pact with himself. Tyson wouldn't let Kai get away with giving up. And talk about motivation – every lap pushed him a little closer to attaining his previous level and a little further from being the kind of softy who could empathise so easily with Tyson. Shudder.

By now, his lungs were acerbic and muscles torn like so much over-stretched fabric. It was getting hard to articulate any thought beyond 'Ow'. Come on, Kai, bring it on. Remember this pain? You used to love it. It was your world. Pure life ripping its way through your veins. More pain meant more life, and he pushed through to embrace it like he once had.

The grim enjoyment clearly showed. Tyson glowered and, winded though he was, Kai found the breath to chuckle. Only eight more to go.

* * *

><p>He spent breakfast trying not to vomit from all the exercise. Apart from being embarrassing, it would have killed the mood a bit, which this morning was showing signs of improvement. Max and Tyson were having a pancake-eating contest while Rei, laughing light-heartedly, barely managed to fry them in time (let alone make some for anyone else) and Kenny stood torn between joining in and telling them off. No-one noticed Kai nurse his black coffee, lifting it to his lips just to inhale the life-restoring aroma. Which was fine.<p>

Eventually a pancake ceasefire was declared, and the bustling kitchen settled down.

"So what's the plan, Boss?" said Max.

Tyson leant back in his chair, surveying them over arched fingers.

"Hmmmm..."

"It's Nationals in a month, Ty." Rei reminded him.

"Training, you say?"

"Well, I meant we'll have to submit paperwork for that soon."

"Very well, young Rei, training it is!"

"Er, Tyson I-"

"First I reckon we need to see where Kai is at."

"Okaaay, well I guess that sounds sensible. What did you have in-"

"Battle Royale!"

"A four-way battle? Seriously?" Kai said, deadpan.

"Yeaah, Battle Royale!"

* * *

><p>It was a bloodbath. Only metaphorically. Or so Kai thought, until his beyblade was knocked out (first again, damn it) and cut his hand as he caught it.<p>

The Chief dragged him inside as the others continued battling and insisted on dressing the incredibly minor wound in a proper manner. So Kai was made to sit on a chair in the kitchen holding out his hand like a five year old, hearing the whoops and shouts outside while Kenny sorted through a first aid kit.

"This might sting a bit." He warned, dabbing with an antiseptic swab. For such a small cut, it hurt like a bitch, but Kai watched unflinchingly as the younger boy wiped away dirt and drying blood. When it was clean, he cut an elastoplast to size and with gentle pressure pressed it to Kai's palm.

"Kenny." Kai held onto the boy's hand, stopping him from turning away as he finished. He looked past the thick spectacles and hair, into what he hoped was the region of his eyes. "Thanks." Swallowing thickly, Kai hoped it was sincerity rather than unease the Chief would see. As leader, he had never really acknowledged the non-beyblading portion of their team, but granted a fresh start he wanted to change that. Kenny was clever and helpful and his forgiveness was worth as much as that of the others.

"You're welcome, Kai."

Kai let go of his hand, and they went back outside together.

Emerging back into the bright courtyard they could see the battle was finally over, and Tyson was throwing punches at the air while the other two lay tired in the sun.

"Aha! He returns! Let's go again!"

"Aww come on Tyson, give it a rest. You won, already." Max said, stretching out.

"I know; I'm waiting for you guys to get your game on! I ain't even breaking a sweat yet!"

Rei waved a hand nonchalantly, not opening his eyes.

"Hey, I'm team leader! You can't shoo me. Besides, Kai's holding out on us."

It was true; Kai had not been faring well at all. The poor performance was likely down to fatigue and the fact that facing three world champion finalists wasn't an easy task for anyone, or so he reasoned, but there was still a feeling of deeper dread in his gut.

He smiled and tried to ignore it.

"That I am, Tyson."

"Come on then, bro! Let's see some Fiery Chicken Badassery!"

Kai resisted the tugging at the corners of his mouth. Where did he come up with this stuff?

"Patience. You need strong foundations to build a house, and you need sound fundamentals to be a pro. And I'm not just referring to myself."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He's calling you lazy!" Rei shouted, not even pretending that this was a quick break anymore and actually sunbathing.

"More complacent." Kai arched an eyebrow. "And maybe not just him."

"Oh snap! Rei, you gonna take that?"

Rei stuck out his tongue and unbuttoned his shirt. "You two have fun smashing each other to pieces. Kitty needs to work on his tan. Gosh, it _is_ _nice _to not have so much responsibility for once."

Kai rolled his eyes. Nationals in a month? They were doomed.

* * *

><p>The next few matches went much the same way. That is to say, badly.<p>

"Not good enough! Drop and give me forty!" Tyson grinned.

Daylight was waning and Rei had covered up again in a black pullover. Watching from the porch that overlooked the courtyard, a little incredulously, as without objection the blue-haired boy obeyed and sank to the ground. Kenny poked his head out of the door to the house (where he and Max were taking their turn to make dinner) to see how things were progressing in the fading evening light, and he too stopped at the very strange sight.

"I take it back, Rei." He said, troubled. "This is lunacy. He's gone mad with power."

"Bit of an exaggeration, Chief, but I hear you." He waved and signalled Tyson over. "Don't you think you're being a bit harsh?" The Neko-jin asked when he'd jogged over.

"What?" Tyson turned and all three of them stared from the doorway at the young man working against the earth, alone in the night. "Naah. I don't think so? He used to do this sort of thing to me all the time, remember?"

"His arms are properly shaking." Max whispered to them through the adjacent kitchen window.

"It was sort of funny at first, but I think we've gone too far." Rei said, trying not to be patronising. "For all we know he's going along with it as a sort of self-punishment, and that's not healthy."

The colour drained from Tyson's face. Obviously, he thought it was only a bit of a game. He hadn't intended to bully anyone.

"Aw man, I feel like a douche."

The blonde leaned further out the window to pat him, unleashing a cloud of condensation at the same time. "Don't sweat it. But dinner's almost ready, why don't you all come inside and we can forget about it?"

"'Kay." A dejected nod. "I'll go get him."

* * *

><p>The others left and Tyson approached the sole remaining occupant of the courtyard, his expression guilt-ridden.<p>

"What... have you done... now?" Kai asked breathlessly, between push-ups. The pre-emptive question knocked Tyson out of an apparent reverie.

"Huh? No, nothing."

Kai snorted, and wasn't going to say anything else on the matter except that Tyson was still standing there wringing his hands and trying to broach some subject or other.

"Well, what?"

"Er, Kai, stop that for a minute, would ya?"

"Negative Captain, still got... another 15 to do." Subtle mockery but Tyson had something else on his mind, and either didn't notice or didn't care.

"Come on, Kai."

Nope, Kai thought. He was in the zone, and he was pretty sure that if he stopped the endorphins would wear off and his arms would crap out.

"As leader, I demand that you stop and talk to me a sec."

Here we go.

"Oh... well if you _demand_ it..." He did two more rebellious push-ups, and then rolled onto his back, folded his arms, and fixed Tyson with an upside-down stare. It was partly bravado and partly because he was about to seize up.

"Look, it's..." He went red. He _actually_ blushed. "I'm sorry. It was childish to make you do all this. I know it must be hard to try and pick it all up again after quitting for so long, and I realised I'm just being bitter and stupid."

"Don't _feel sorry_ for me." Kai snapped, with more venom than he'd meant. Poor Tyson looked taken back. Kai rolled back onto his stomach and resumed the push-ups where he'd left off, muscles in vehement agony.

"I just want us to be friends again. You don't have to do that..." Tyson trailed off, confused that his apology had gone so wrong.

"I do if I want to be good. You were right, whether you meant it or not. I need to be better."

"Um, but food is up..."

"I'll be right there." He said curtly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his captain reluctantly slope off. So what if his feelings were hurt? The ends justify the means. Kai was determined to give this his all, for the good of the team.


End file.
